By Ruth Carpio MA, CCC-SLP, CYT
Holistic and alternative approaches, such as mindfulness and meditation, have become increasingly popular in education and parenting practices. Incorporating mindfulness and/or meditation into our kids' routines has demonstrated improvements in learning, focus, emotional self-regulation and social interactions. But how can we integrate this approach as parents, therapists and educators of highly sensitive and special needs children? Below I will dive into why these practices are so important and how we can include them in the the lives of our children to see lasting results.
Why Meditation and Mindfulness?
In recent times, meditation and mindfulness have become more widely known and understood in the West. Meditation generally refers to the practice of going inward and focusing our awareness on the breath, on a mantra, or on an image. Mindfulness, on the other hand, refers to the practice of becoming intentionally aware while performing some outward action. While these two practices have subtle differences, they are both very useful in quieting the mind, decreasing stress and setting the stage for learning and connection to take place.
Furthermore, we are finding that it is not only adults who benefit from meditation and mindfulness, but children as well. Many parents, therapists and educators are incorporating some form of these practices into their approaches because it is evident that when the mind, body and spirit are aligned, children are able to learn better.
In my work as a speech-language pathologist, I've had the opportunity to incorporate methods of mindfulness, meditation and yoga to treat children with special needs from a unique and multi-sensory perspective. I was able to observe the significant difference in the level of connection between me and the child. This was drastically different from some of the drill-based therapy approaches I had learned in the past. Working with the special needs population and later becoming a parent of two highly sensitive children, brought me to the realization that the unique nervous systems of our children may often become overburdened by too many sights, sounds, textures, tastes and, yes, energies.
Highly sensitive children tend to be those who are classified as neurodivergent and who tend to sense stimuli in their environments more deeply. These children may seek more or less sensory stimulation to soothe or ground before they can devote mental energy to learning or practicing new skills.
We Are Energetic Beings
Working with children, I always knew there was something deeper than just giving a diagnosis and doing therapy exercises. I always felt the most enjoyment when engaging clients during the first few sessions, because I knew I had to establish a connection before expecting the client to learn and progress. However, I never knew the exact reason why this was so important. Seeking answers to these unknowns, led me to the world of yoga.
Through yoga, I set out to understand more about the energy body and why my interactions with clients were so much more rewarding when we could establish a calm, safe and connected atmosphere. Through Yogic philosophy and Ayurvedic principles, I finally understood that everything is energy. I became more intentional and aware of the way I was showing up in my sessions, as a therapist and in my interactions with my kids, as a parent. I realized that more often than not, I was stressed out and rushing around and yet I somehow expected these very empathic children to keep it together. I did not effectively learn how to harness and steer my energies until I myself began to meditate and connect to my own inner world.
One of the most important lessons I learned from my own daughters was that, when my kids were presenting with challenging behaviors or intense emotions, they were simply reflecting back to me the emotions, chaos and stress that I was carrying around all day. One of the most effective ways I have learned to respond to my children's tantrums has been to pause (mindfully), connect with my own breath or do a short meditation (2-3 minutes) to calm my own energies first. I discovered that putting myself in this sort of "time out" was way more effective than trying to demand compliance by yelling or throwing my own adult tantrum.
What Does Meditation and Mindfulness Look Like for Children?
Once we can master our own reactivity (or while we are learning to do so) our job as parents and educators becomes to guide the child into increasing awareness of self in order to create a sense of calm and safety, making the environment more predictable and less chaotic, so that learning (and play) can take place. Engaging a child in blowing bubbles to promote breathing, having the child feel his or her belly move with every in and out breath, going on a mindful nature walk or gardening are simple ways to start and end an activity and promote greater success in accomplishing our goals. The beauty of these activities is that we, as adults, can set the stage, and our children, who are often more connected to their own energetic bodies than we are, will follow suit. The main goal is to provide the space and environment so that the alignment of body, mind and spirit naturally unfolds. After all, alignment is our natural state of being. The body is always seeking homeostasis: a steady and balanced flow.
By the time I became a speech therapist, I thoroughly understood the importance of the breath on a physical and functional level. I based my sessions on the understanding that sound production originates as air in the lungs, which travels up to the vocal folds, creating a vibration which resonates within the oral and/or nasal cavities, to make any number of sounds, syllables, words or sentences. As a result, if the breath (and posture) was not optimal, the speech mechanism would not be ready for the demands of speech production and the mind would not be ready to formulate ideas and turn them into language and then words.
How amazing that as I began to incorporate yoga and mindfulness into my therapy sessions, the breath still held this same profound meaning. In yogic philosophy, the breath is intimately connected to the vital life force that we channel through different asanas or poses.
Putting it All into Perspective
A "typical" child's development is a fascinating, complex and multi-faceted phenomenon. When parents, therapists and educators work with highly sensitive or special needs children, this task may become even more complex. If we can understand the underlying reasons for which a child's behaviors present as intense, repetitive or imbalanced in some way, would we really work so hard to eliminate those behaviors or would we take it as the body's way of communicating a need to us? If we could see that the child with autism who is "stimming" is trying to go within to find a sense of safety that is not present in the outside environment, would we really drill them to conform and fit into our adult-centered models?
In my experience as a parent and therapist, the techniques which have resulted in the most significant forward progress have their foundations in the social, emotional and energetic connections between the child and adult and even more so, in the child's connection to his- or herself. For this reason, meditation and mindfulness, supports our children by giving them that which they seek: calm in a world full of chaos.
One of the greatest lessons I have learned from my years as a parent and speech language pathologist, is that our highly sensitive and special needs children have actually come into our lives to encourage us to shift our current models of raising and educating children. To do this effectively, these children are wisely pushing us to heal our own wounds and align at the most foundational levels. Put simply, learning to go within and use mindfulness and meditation for my own well-being, gave me the tools to finally understand the children I was serving in a way that no textbook could ever have explained.
My name is Ruth Carpio MA, CCC-SLP, CYT and I am a Bilingual Speech-Language Pathologist, Certified Yoga Teacher, and homeschool mom of two wonderful daughters. Through my private teletherapy practice, I provide holistic speech therapy for children and adults. When I am not treating clients, I am gardening, spending time with my chickens, and enjoying the great outdoors.
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